"Don't believe everything you see, even salt looks like sugar"
- Melissa Anne
- Feb 7, 2019
- 4 min read
If you were to place a bowl of sugar in front of you and a bowl of salt next to it, they both look the same right? But you can't be deceived by that because they both have very different flavours.
My point being that the friend that's putting up a sugary act can also have the most salty personality!
Almost everyday I swear I hear the quote "don't judge a book by its cover", well have you ever just thought maybe we should also be perceiving this as not all nice people are genuine?
I have had my fair share of drama queens, backstabbers and liars throughout my teenage years. Yet throughout all of those years I tend to have given majority of them the benefit of the doubt, as well as giving them second/third and forth chances. I also feel I am not the only one that tends to do this, am I right? Or am I right?!
At what point do we end up trusting our gut instincts? I know I end up trusting mine waaay too late. The question I found myself asking recently is why do I not just trust my instincts the first red flag I get in a friendship? And I feel the answer is because I feel bad for the person, I feel sorry for them that they feel the need to lie or cause drama. At what point do you confront them when you know they are just going to get mad at you for being honest? At what point do you walk away after hearing through the grapevine what they say about you behind your back? When do you put a stop to the friendship? Is it after the first negative Facebook post about you, or the tenth??
There's times where people confront you about something sincerely and they are being genuine about it. And there's also times where people are mad about a situation and really just threaten you or come across threatening just so it benefits themselves. If you do not understand what I mean by that, I mean that sometimes when people confront you in a passive aggressive manner its not because they want to be honest with you. Its because some how it gives them a confidence boost by putting you down and gives them the benefit to get attention from others by putting you down or making you look like your a bad person.
The thing is if you're reading this and straight away someone comes to your mind and they are currently your so called 'friend' you should probably start reevaluating that friendship. Because if you're getting put through that, the friendship is not worth it and that person is clearly just a jar of salt.
I have had 3 jars of salt in my life and all of them looked like sugar from the beginning. The funny thing is with these types of so called 'friends' is that each of them gave me a reason to question the friendship from the beginning whether it be the matter of me catching their little white lie or hearing through a friend that they had said something about me behind my back.
And while were talking about this the minute you hear from a reliable source that your 'friend' is talking about you behind your back, is the moment you walk away from the situation - don't give it a second chance or third because chances are its going to happen again. Just confront them about the situation and if they deny it and your gut feeling is telling you they aren't being honest with you. WALK AWAY. (Just like Craig David, walk away from the troubles in your life).
So I suppose you are reading this wondering at what point you get to read the story of the friends that were the attention seeking liars or what happened for them to spill the sugar off the cover of their book?
But the truth is I'm not going to tell my story because the reality of it is, is that so many red flags come up in my head when I even think of where to begin with the story. Why did it take me so long to get out of the situation I was in? All three friends were in my life for very long periods of times, and yet I sit here knowing full well they had lost many friends in the time frame that we were friends - how did I not realise then? When they say salty things about any other person they have been around the last 24 hours - you bet your ass they probably aren't saying sweet things about you either.
In all honesty I was threatened by them, how could I not be? I knew if I ever confronted them it would never end in alliance and peace. It definitely would end up being world war 3. (Now who is the drama queen). The reality of me not writing the full story is that I know I will end up with a strongly worded message from either one of these people - no matter how threatening they can be we all know its never face to face. And even though I sit here telling you about how salt is different to sugar, and I may have learnt to trust my gut instinct. I am yet to build the courage to confront these people.
All I'm ending this very short blog post with is... if you have red flags from the beginning of a friendship and you are questioning if you can trust them or not? Just think - are you really wanting to sign up for Julliard or the next Broadway show? I know I was never ready for that!
I'll leave you with this.. the more salt you intake, the higher your blood pressure. The higher your blood pressure, the greater the strain on your heart, arteries, kidneys and brain. Which can lead to heart attacks, strokes, dementia and kidney disease. Is it really risking it all? All I'm saying is grab that salt jar and compare it to all the sugar jars you have in your life - I know which one I'll be leaving on the shelf.
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